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“The greater choice set pays dividends to people who are willing to be persistent in trying to find a mate.”Of the study as a whole, he said: “I think its conclusions are robust and its methodologies are sound.”Yet what also emerges from the data is a far more depressing idea of “leagues” than many joking friends would suppose.
Across the four cities and the thousands of users, consistent patterns around age, race, and education level emerge.
You feel the room shrink, your heart rate quicken, your face go red: You’re crushing on this stranger, Wait a second, you counter: Do dating “leagues” even exist? But you’re not alone in trying to escape yours: “Three-quarters, or more, of people are dating aspirationally,” she says.
At this point, Elizabeth Bruch, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan, crashes in to your thought process (and this news article). And according to a new study, users of online-dating sites spend most of their time trying to contact people “out of their league.”In fact, most online-dating users tend to message people more desirable than they are. She’s spent the past few years studying how people make decisions and pursue partners on online-dating sites, using exclusive data from the dating sites themselves.
“The most common behavior for both men and women is to contact members of the opposite sex who on average have roughly the same ranking as themselves,” Bruch and her colleagues write.
desirable than themselves on average—and hardly any users contact partners who are significantly less desirable.”- Your online-dating experience is not as bad as this poor woman’s in New York.“The most popular individual in our four cities, a 30-year-old woman living in New York, received 1504 messages during the period of observation,” the study says.
“A defining feature of heterosexual online dating is that, in the vast majority of cases, it is men who establish the first contact—more than 80 percent of first messages are from men in our data set,” the study says.It’s not just that older men are considered most desirable in New York.“New York is a special case for men,” Bruch told me.“It’s the market with the highest fraction of women.The longest messages in the study were sent by Seattle men, the study says,“and only Seattle men experience a payoff to writing longer messages.” A more educated man is almost always more desirable, on average: Men with postgraduate degrees outperform men with bachelor’s degrees; men with bachelor’s degrees beat high-school graduates.“But for women, an undergraduate degree is most desirable,” the study says.“Postgraduate education is associated with decreased desirability among women.”positive language when messaging more desirable women.