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Because we have more romantic options than ever before, thanks to apps and online dating, we’ve also internalized the idea that love is a flawless state, says Karla Ivankovich, Ph D, a psychology instructor and clinical counselor at One Patient Global Health.Singles today are quick to question budding relationships—the mere fact that one person’s feelings have moved faster than another’s can be enough to end it. Everything can be disposed of in favor of something new, including relationships,” she explains.Unrealistic relationship expectations make conversation even more vital to your connection with your partner.
For example, he couldn’t understand how a “relationship” differed from “dating” and why I thought “dating” was a phase along a romantic trajectory, instead of a destination in itself.Our inability to agree on these terms made clear that we were not good at communicating and compromising with each other. Agreeing on a common romantic language can be one of the most important acts you undertake with a prospective partner—especially at a time where we as a culture are completely redefining what a relationship actually is.Even among my friends, despite an earnest desire for more clarity, many are still hesitant to have “The Talk” with the person they’re seeing. You may be spending every weekend at his place and making stupid shmoopy eyes at each other over dinner and playing tonsil hockey in the park like teenagers, but that DOES NOT make him your boo. I thought somehow, this dating lots of people thing and not committing myself too soon was supposed to make me feel more powerful. It made me feel like even more of an ass, just in a different way.At least not until you’ve discussed it and have both agreed upon the terms of service for your relationship. Juggling these guys, sorting through the different shades of caring for them, trying to build a connection with all of them at once, trying to schedule multiple dates per week, left me lying awake at night, exhausted, with my stomach in knots, worrying about hurting someone’s feelings.