Muslim dating advice

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As much as I love sharing my dating stories, there are a lot of experiences that I haven't had. I was 11 years old at the time, and very naive in my understanding about the faith.

Because there’s nothing higher than a spiritual relationship and a true spiritual connection. And it’s important for me to know that, in the good times, we’re pulling from the same spiritual toolbox.

For example, Ramadan just ended, and just to know that the guy that I’m seeing is going to want to go to the mosque with me.

So I do tell the guy, ‘Hey I’m looking for something a little more serious, and I only want to date a Muslim man.’ And some guys are like, ‘I can convert! You’re just saying that because you have rose-colored glasses on right now.’”You have! Those intimate forms of touch are just meant for your husband or your family members or whatever, and not just for strangers.” So this guy, whatever, dream boat, finally comes and takes that next step.

I would assume he’s already spoken to his parents about it.

It’s not the same for men, now that beards are in style. And by ‘quick turnaround period,’ I mean that some people can be married in, like, a month. Because you have people who do this arranged marriage situation, and the marriages work and sometimes they don’t. “My parents know that I talk to men with the purpose of dating for marriage. Sounds like my parents.“I live in Chicago, and I live in this great neighborhood, so I meet people all the time.

And then you have the opposite, where it’s like, you’re on these dating apps, and you have these hookups, and sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t. But they don’t encourage ‘dating.’ They have encouraged me getting married. And you’re going to meet men — men who are not Muslim.

Even though I was born and raised in this religion, that was my own awakening as to why this was a way of life for me [and I decided to commit myself to this faith].”What does that mean to you and your faith? I had to go through a process of that, too, because you’re immediately recognized as a Muslim if you’ve got your hijab on. “For the personality type that I have, the hijab was very simple way for me to maintain a balance and a center and a sort of discipline that I needed and that I don’t seem to find in a lot of other ways in this world. But the hijab is as simple as putting a T-shirt on.”“If you’re a conservative Muslim, your family gets you some men, you pick and choose what you want, and it’s done in a really quick turnaround period. And I don’t knock any sort of trajectory or pathway to finding love or getting married or having a marriage. It blows my mind to know that you can try this conservative approach, or this non-conservative approach…”But there’s no full-on “dating” that goes on in your community?

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It can’t be true, but it feels like there are way less men then there are women.”I mean, I live in New York City, and I feel like that all the time. Because the initial conversation is about anything else in the world aside from the religion.

And then, maybe during the third or fourth conversation, it comes up.”I just have to tell them! They just don’t know the depths and the gravity of what that means and what they’d really commit to.

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