How to communicate without invalidating
When a person decides to communicate with another person, he/she does so to fulfill a need.The person wants something, feels discomfort, and/or has feelings or thoughts about something.Note the different requirements in the following situations: If we dont address the appropriate elements we will not be very effective, and can actually make the situation worse.For example: If your wife is telling you about her hurt feelings and you focus on the facts of the situation and dont acknowledge her feelings, she will likely become even more upset.
Effective communication exists between two people when the receiver interprets and understands the senders message in the same way the sender intended it.
Dont use active listening to hide and avoid revealing your own position.
If you are confused and know you do not understand, either tell the person you dont understand and ask him/her to say it another way, or use your best guess.
And part of belonging to any group is to be known, understood, and accepted.
But, while it’s normal to want to be understood, we can’t depend on others to validate who we are, what we believe in, and how we feel.