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D., a relationship psychotherapist and consulting psychologist on “There shouldn’t be any shame in this.It can help you figure out what you really want in your next partner."Ready to meet people?When it comes to the most stressful life events, researchers rank divorce as number two, right after the death of a spouse or child and before being imprisoned or having a health crisis—and for good reason.It goes without saying that ending a marriage can make you rethink everything you thought you knew about love—and sometimes, even, yourself.We "dated" in junior high and high school, so becoming reacquainted via the miraculous Internet at 35 was actually pretty easy (even if it was over several hundred miles).Matt is the first and last person I dated, and since I didn't really want to be single (I just didn't want to be married to my ex), we wasted no time getting serious. It may take hold of you with both hands in a grip so tight you can't, and don't want to try to, escape it."Gandhi points to her own simmer-to-boil relationship with her husband, who she was friends with for six years before they began dating.
But Gandhi says you shouldn't discount a "slow burn." "Especially when we are dating after divorce, singles think immediate, blazing chemistry is the key thing to look for," she continues. Chemistry, especially for women, can grow over time—and may take many dates to begin to grow!
But, it shouldn’t prevent you from finding happiness with a new person.
In fact, experts say that getting divorced in your 40s, or 50s, can actually improve the quality of your future relationships.“I see one divorce as a good credential, actually,” says Fran Walfish, Ph.
That mind sound a little dramatic—and sure, there's a chance you really have landed royalty—but Walfish points out that the harsh reality is there are a lot of people out there who aim to take advantage of women, and being in your 40s or 50s doesn't make you immune. Get regular reality checks from close friends and loved ones who can offer an outside perspective of your situation.
Knowing where you’ve been and where you want to go is just as essential for relationships as it is for road trips and careers, Dr. Many of us jump immediately into new relationships only to find ourselves making the same mistakes.